Reach for the Light

“My heart needs a surgeon / My soul needs a friend /

So I’ll run to the Father / Again and again”

The last time I felt inspired to write a blog entry was after my nephew was born, my grandma passed and my contract ended. The response to that blog filled me with so much love that my heart healed through the ups and downs of that time. I settled back into LA with a renewed sense of hope and faith, and then Covid-19 hit and any prospects of a new job disappeared like a carton of cookies n’ cream ice cream in my freezer. Magic.

Though it was difficult, and still shadows find a way to cover me, I choose to focus on the light. The brightest light after that last blog entry came to me as I was driving home from the west side: it was my Godfather and Uncle, Bob. “My sweet, sweet Goddaughter,” he proclaimed. “I read your beautiful blog,” his words, not mine, “and I wanted to check on you.”

I mentioned in that last entry that it is difficult for me to ask for help because I am so often the one to provide it to others. It’s quite lovely that God inspired me to write something that my Godfather would then receive as a sign for help and come to my aid. My Godfather, who has been battling cancer for 12 years, lost his wife, my aunt, to cancer in 2018 and who also broke his back in quarantine. That man read my words and made a choice to lift me up and put me first. How incredibly beautiful and selfless is that?

I am eternally grateful for that call because it was the start to us calling each other every other week. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t have a problem talking, and I value relationships like they are gold because I believe we were all created to share this life together.

We talked as he transitioned into hospice care in the loving home of my cousin, his wife, and their adorable children. As he settled into this new chapter, he mentioned how tiring calls can be for him. I asked, “What would you like to chat about when I call?” He said, “I want to hear about all the wonderful things you are doing in California. It’s all so exciting.” 

Since I can’t sit still, pandemic or not, I had news to share each time we spoke. He would share updates on his health voluntarily, but I wouldn’t press further because whatever he gave me was all I needed to know. When I called for his Birthday, I could hear that my Godfather was reaching the end of his life. It chokes me up just thinking about it because not long before, we had a normal conversation, and he sounded well.

I prayed often for him, but at this point, I asked my small group (a prayer group/Bible study) to please pray with me that he returns Home peacefully. Our prayers were answered as Godfather Bob went to meet God in Heaven on August 22nd.

Mourning is a journey, and though I am thankful he is at peace, I miss him. We are living through an extraordinarily difficult time of unemployment, unrest, words being used like missiles and isolation. Wherever you are at, I hope there are people around to lift you up, and like my Godfather, may we all continue to reach for the light. 

In loving memory of Bob Mackey.